Ottawa Veg Fest 2012

Well, it’s that time of year again. Er… what time, you may ask? Only the most exciting time for vegetarians and vegans in the Ottawa region, the days leading up to Ottawa’s Veg Fest. Everything is abuzz here in Ottawa in preparation for the 4th annual Veg Fest, Ottawa’s no. 1 vegetarian event, brought to you by the National Capital Vegetarian Association (NCVA) and The Table Restaurant. It’s the type of event that you do not want to miss and if you do miss it, you’ll be kicking yourself over it till next spring when you will surely not make the same mistake again. As always, there will be plenty of exhibitors, food demos, and guest speakers. Every year offers more exciting events and activities. This year will feature a silent auction and even a 31-day vegan challenge with many prizes to be won. Also new this year is that while the venue isn’t changing (Glebe Community Centre), the Veg Fest is expanding at the venue to allow for more space for the food demos and presentations. You’ll be sure to run into some special local celebrity guests and maybe even a talking vegetable or two. Seriously, Veg Fest is zany.

For those of you who don’t know anything about Veg Fest or who think that perhaps it might not be for you, here is some more info to help familiarize yourself with the event and make you certain that you will enjoy it no matter what you eat!

• Veg Fest is a great event for anyone who enjoys good food. Not just vegetarians. Everyone should check it out and see what it is all about, especially those who are curious about living and eating more healthily, environmentally-friendly initiatives and products, and all the hubbub associated with this new-fandangled concept called “vegetarianism”;
• Guest speakers will speak on issues pertaining to health, environment, and animal suffering  (Jack Norris R.D., James McWilliams, Jo-Anne McArthur);
•  Lots of food to be tasted and discovered. You may even learn how to make some of it yourself with the fantastic food demonstrations that will be taking place throughout the event;
• This event is entirely run by the dedicated volunteers of the NCVA. Come show your support for a local not-for-profit organization striving for the betterment of your community. You can even become a member yourself at the event or online by a $20 (or more) donation to the organization;
• Admission is FREE, by the way;
• And yes, kids are welcome and love the event too!

Oh, and I’ll be there too, which is I think the most compelling argument to come, no?

More info can be found on the NCVA event page as well as the NCVA blog, which you should be reading anyway.

See you on Sunday April 29, 2012!

Follow-up commentary on: Can vegans own pets?

I wanted to take the opportunity to clarify slightly my dilemma in my previous post. A few people have made comments following my post cautioning me not to equate morality of humans with that of other animals (e.g., cats). I am surprised by this warning as I did not believe that my post revealed any indication that I was ignorant of this. Indeed, I am well aware of the moral differences between humans eating animals and other animals eating animals, and I would certainly never apply identical moral argumentation to both scenarios.

I would like to emphasize a particular element of my dilemma that I still do not have an answer for. I was recommended a podcast by Gary Francione in which it was alleged that he answers my questions concerning this dilemma. Gary makes some extremely insightful points on what vegan cat owners should do on the assumption that certain cats cannot follow vegan diets and remain healthy. (Note that this is an assumption he makes because he admits he is not a veterinarian or similar and so cannot claim that this is true or not.) However, he also makes the assumption that this question is being asked by vegans who presently own cats. Still I am left in doubt about those vegans who are interested in adopting cats but do not have one yet. This is a very important distinction.

Indeed, the podcast helped me to frame my question more precisely, by referring to “pet ownership” as an “immoral institution”, which I can relate to. It is assumed, therefore, that vegans who already participate in this “immoral institution” have an obligation to their animals to continue participating in it. For example, vegans have the obligation to engage in “morally excusable” acts such as feeding their cats meat in order to ensure that they do not suffer. This makes perfect sense and I was not questioning this per se in my previous post. But I wonder:  does one opt in good moral consciousness to participate in this “immoral institution” if one has the choice not to (i.e., if one is not already participating)?  In other words, what should non cat owners do? Should they adopt cats in the hope that the cats can follow a vegan diet and if they can’t, then (since they are now cat owners) they must start buying meat (as identified by Gary as the “morally excusable” act)? Again, Gary believes that it is not inherently wrong to feed a carnivorous domesticated animal a vegan diet if they prosper only on it. That I do not deny. But should we participate in this “immoral institution” called “pet ownership” if we have the option not to? Is it “morally excusable” to adopt a cat and take the risk that it will not be able to eat a vegan diet?

As previously mentioned, Gary says that it is “morally excusable” to feed cats meat if there is no other alternative. This implies that he believes it is better to feed and care for the cat than to euthanize it in order not to contribute to the meat industry. I can accept that, too. But I still am without the answer to my question in my previous post: Can vegans adopt cats? Sure, vegans can own pets, but should they adopt if they don’t already own?

I am also aware that I should not broadly apply my morality for animals on my morality for meat or animal products directly. However, this must be taken with a grain of salt. Non-vegetarians can and do make the “category” argument when they eat meat, e.g., “It’s already dead by the time it makes it to my plate!” (I.e., “It’s not my ethical dilemma, it was someone else’s”). The same can be true for cat food. If one feels justified housing a bunch of cats by believing that the meat that one feeds the cats is just an animal product that is already dead, then I’m not going to argue, but to my mind, I do not believe it is categorically appropriate to make the distinction. Perhaps I’m in error to try to work out exactly how many animals need to die so that my cat can live out his/her life, and then from that try to determine whether it is more morally excusable to euthanize the animal than to feed it meat. Perhaps it’s a timing issue with respect to at what point we can safely say that we have no control or persuasion on an animal’s suffering. It is more apparent and direct to see your own cat harmed by your dogmatic beliefs than it would be to only *assume* a farm animal suffers from you compromising those very beliefs. That may be enough for most people to see this as a black and white decision. Unfortunately, it isn’t quite so for me.

Finally, I’m a bit surprised that I must also explain and clarify my stance on my veganism, but alas, I do have to from time to time. I’m not inherently against killing. That is not what you should have taken away from my last post. I do not believe all carnivorous animals should be killed or euthanized for “the greater vegan cause”. That is ludicrous and a straw man. However, I do think that if domesticated animals were to exist no longer, this wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. The same applies to domesticated farm animals, but for different reasons. My “life equals a life” reasoning that I alluded to in my previous post could be likened to the classical moral dilemma of choosing between saving drowning animals. Say four cows and a cat are drowning in a lake. You have the opportunity to save the four cows or to save the cat. Which do you save? This eliminates the timing issue I referred to above. I do not apply or compare this hypothetical dilemma to natural environments or the food chain. We are talking about owning pets, not disapproving of eating meat across the animal kingdom.

I do not believe I made a category error in my previous post. Agree? Disagree? I’d love to hear your comments!

Can vegans own pets?

I want a cat. Since I was a very young child, I have always wanted a cat. It sort of morphed into wanting a monkey after reading Curious George and watching Friends, but even during that stage of my life, I would have been quite happy with a cat. My sisters and I had two cats only throughout the course of our childhood. Buckley was, for all intents and purposes, my cat. I was devastated when he died and locked myself in my room to grieve and draw pictures of him to post around my room. I was about seven. While I loved him literally to death, I probably treated him more like Elmyra from Tiny Toons treated kitties. The second cat we had was Lucy. She was the devil incarnate, but again, I loved her dearly and was extremely sad when she passed.

Now that I am older, living on my own and following a vegan lifestyle in which the principles of veganism are highly important to me, I have the opportunity to own a cat myself, but the reality is, I cannot get past my ethical dilemma with such a relationship.

First, let’s deal with the general dilemma of being vegan/vegetarian and wanting to own a pet. Can vegetarians/vegans own pets? Some vegans do not even contemplate the potential moral inconsistencies with “owning an animal”. Even the phrase sounds counter-vegan. If we consider animal rights, then how could owning an animal ever be appropriate? If it weren’t for humans, animals would never have been domesticated. Cats and dogs, for example, would very probably not even exist. To be sure, pet ownership inherently perpetuates the idea that other animals can be “owned” like objects and as such the laws protecting these animals are little more severe than laws protecting physical property. Essentially, while most people seem to believe that domesticated animals are treated with respect and love, the majority of these poor creatures who are lucky enough to live in a home–and are not stray, abandoned, feral, farmed for meat or fur or brought up in a mill–sadly live in a state where their “owners” do not care for their emotional needs and desires. However, even vegan abolitionists agree that owning animals is often the lesser of two evils since there is nothing we can do about their existence at this stage. It would actually be contrary to animal rights to deny domesticated animals the comfort of living in a good home that would care for them, just because we are against owning pets, in principle. Therefore, when there is an animal in need of shelter or a loving home to prevent it from starving or being abused, etc., it behooves us as moral human beings to care for and nurture these animals. This is as much the vegan agenda as it is that of any other animal lover. If you are interested in reading more on the vegan abolitionist perspective on owning pets, I recommend Gary Francione‘s article on the subject, quoted in this blog post, but for the purpose of my blog post, I believe we have an answer to this general question:

In general, vegans and vegetarians can own animals, provided that the animals are adopted or rescued. This excludes buying animals that are sold at pet stores or bred for certain aesthetic characteristics, or from (puppy) mills, etc. The mere fact that these institutions still exist is abhorrent to me, and should be to any vegan, vegetarian, animal lover or owner.

So I’m reassured that in general, vegans can own (or more accurately, adopt) animals. However, I do not believe this applies to all species of animals. Certain animals have no right in a human dwelling (such as non-domesticated animals, exotic animals, birds, and the like) and even if we do consider our acquiring of the animal to be an adoption or rescue, the animal may end up being more miserable than if it were just euthanized or set free. The borderline case that I still do not have an answer for then is whether we, as vegans, can adopt/rescue domesticated carnivorous animals, namely cats, and still stay true to our ethics, principles, and concern for non-human animals.

My sister is a veterinarian. As such, she knows a lot about domestic animal care. She also is a strong advocate for pet adoption and rescuing and is appalled by the lack of care some owners provide for their pets. The grand majority of cat owners feed their cats meat-based food, whether it is from beef, chicken or fish. This is because cats are carnivores and therefore require a meat-based diet. Vegans are, by definition, against buying and consuming animals and animal-based products. This arguably applies to pet food that contains animal. Ethically speaking, I can see no difference in buying meat for my own personal digestion and nutrition and buying meat for that of my furry little friend. At the end of the day, you would still be supporting the factory farming/meat industry or simply condoning the practice of raising and slaughtering animals for meat or other animal products. Often, pet food meat is the byproduct of the meat industry. However, I do not believe this is relevant to the ethical debate. Meat is meat, especially if it comes from the same industry.

It must be noted that there are some websites and (small) pet food operations/companies that seem to indicate that you can ethically feed your feline vegan, plant-based food and that it has all that is required to maintain a healthy pH balance and taurine. All this and you are purchasing cruelty-free pet food! However, my sister, while not against the possibility of raising animals vegan per se, is extremely skeptical of the claims made by these sites and companies with respect to the vegan food being nutritionally complete for the animals and to the lack of evidence that this food is actually appropriate and safe for the animals. Furthermore, she debunked most of the claims made on vegancats.com. So it seems for now, there is no ethical alternative to feeding cats meat-based foods.

So then how is this decision complicated? If we believe that buying meat is ethically wrong then shouldn’t the answer be evident? That is, vegans cannot own domesticated carnivorous animals, namely cats?

It’s a much more complex issue than that. In light of what was discussed above regarding the adoption and rescue of animals, we know that there are many cats who need loving homes and without which may continue to live in terrible conditions, possibly squalid or abusive. Shouldn’t we, as vegans and animal lovers, adopt these pets so that they no longer suffer? Isn’t part of being vegan reducing the suffering of animals, including cats?

Hence the Catch-22. On one side, we cannot buy meat because of the implications of supporting the meat industry and thus indirectly causing suffering to animals. On the other, we cannot not adopt a cat, because if we choose not to, we may be indirectly causing suffering to that animal. How do we reconcile our vegan ideology with the beast which is the domesticated carnivorous animal?

Due to this conundrum and my lack of a clear solution, I had abstained from adopting cats, despite my deep-seated love for them. However, recently I was confronted with the dilemma once again. I watched Animal House Calls in which my sister was an invited guest on the show. She introduced Fergie, a rescued cat who needs a home, to the viewers. I somewhat fell for Fergie and wanted to adopt her. I emailed my sister almost humorously alluding to my desire to adopt the cat. It developed into a discussion on the very dilemma above, can I adopt poor Fergie as a vegan?

On “a life equals a life” ethical basis, it appears that more animal suffering would be caused by the adoption of Fergie than by Fergie being euthanized. I know this sounds shocking for cat-lovers, but try to picture it the other way. Say you wanted to adopt a chicken, and in order to adopt that chicken you would have to kill 10 cats. Would you do it? Most likely not. That’s how I feel here. How many animals need to suffer and die so that Fergie can live? Do I want to be responsible for the deaths of those animals?

I’m not even sure this is the most appropriate way of basing the ethical debate and I welcome any arguments or alternatives to help me with this issue. Indeed, I find it a struggle. Nevertheless, presently the above perspective is how I view it and so I cannot realistically adopt a cat–no matter how much I love cats–because I believe that it would be too much of a compromise of my veganism and my commitment to reducing animal suffering.

So if you are vegan or if you are committed to reducing animal suffering, and you are not quite sure if you feel comfortable, ethically-speaking, adopting a cat, I have boiled it down to three conclusions you can make after you have done some soul-searching:

1. Do not get a cat, because you can never be confident enough that a vegan diet is appropriate for cats. Your morality restricts you to adopting herbivorous pets;
2. Do more research and if you find a credible trend of evidence that supports vegan diets for cats, then adopt a cat and start her/him on a vegan diet. However, you must be prepared if s/he shows signs of not being healthy, or of even not enjoying the food, to buy meat to feed her/him, because you have taken on the responsibility of care for the animal and it would be even more ethically abhorrent to disown the animal because it can’t follow a vegan diet;
3. Adopt a cat and find ways of reconciling your veganism (and animal ethics) and owning a pet. (Then let me know about how you did this!)

Presently, I must admit that the only realistic option I see available to us is the first one. And so, I sign off this dreadfully long rumination, as cat-less as I was when I started it.

Vegetarian means nothing.

What does the word “vegetarian” mean anyway? Well, I think I know what it means. I’ve been referring to myself as such for almost 14 years, but do I have a dialectal interpretation of the word that does not apply outside the “vegetarian” community? Dictionaries would have you believe that vegetarian has a common meaning in the English language. Well sort of.

Merriam-Webster defines “vegetarian” as: “one who believes in or practices vegetarianism”.

Right. So what is “vegetarianism”?

In turn, Merriam-Webster defines “vegetarianism” as: “the theory or practice of living on a vegetarian diet”.

How is this even a dictionary?? Let’s try to find a dictionary that does not define the word using the word it is defining in a different form. (Elementary school tells us that an appropriate definition of a “human being” is not “a being that is human”.)

The Collins English Dictionary fares a bit better. It defines “vegetarianism” as: “the principle or practice of excluding all meat and fish, and sometimes, in the case of vegans, all animal products (such as eggs, cheese, etc) from one’s diet”.

From this definition, it is implied that meat is not fish and that there are inconsistencies and indefinites in the concept (e.g., sometimes, such as, etc). Furthermore, it only refers to diet, not lifestyle at all.

But what is meat? Simple question? No. “Meat” according to the Collins English Dictionary does not include fish or even poultry:

“the flesh of mammals used as food, as distinguished from that of birds and fish”

That’s astounding. Nut job Merriam-Webster’s first definition of “meat” is simply “food”, so I think it’s safe to say that we shall no longer counting on this dictionary for any sort of useful definition.

MacMillan Dictionary defines “meat” as: “the flesh of an animal or bird eaten as food”.

That’s funny, because I’m pretty sure birds are animals. And if birds are not considered animals according to MacMillan, then I assume fish aren’t either.

So, I better stop here, or I’ll start looking up definitions for “animals” and I have already taken too many steps away from my initial investigation, namely, what the hell does “vegetarian” mean anyway?

Dictionaries aside, my experiences within the “vegetarian community” in Canada (or at least, certain parts of Ontario) have led me to believe that “vegetarian” means the principle or practice of excluding all meat (which includes the flesh of all animals encompassed by the Kingdom Animalia) from one’s diet. “Vegan” incorporates this definition, but goes a step further and involves the exclusion of all animal products as well (anything derived from an animal), and often this transcends just diet to include also lifestyle. Of course, there are subtypes of both groups, such as lacto-ovo-, lacto-, ovo- [vegetarian], and vegans that do or do not eat honey and/or processed sugars, to name but a few differences. In fact, from my definition it would seem like we have some stability and common understanding of the term. But we don’t.

“Vegetarian” has become a catch-all for any diet that excludes various types of meat, but not necessarily all meat. For example, it is not unheard of for someone to call themselves vegetarian, whose only restriction is abstention from red meat. Many self-proclaimed “vegetarians” eat fish and/or seafood (in addition to eggs and dairy), and some even include poultry (or just chicken and turkey). Some “vegetarians” don’t eat any meat, unless it is chopped up in little bits or dissolved in their food so that it can’t be seen, others only eat meat at restaurants and dinner parties, but never at home, and finally, you have those who are “vegetarian”, but sometimes they will occasionally eat steak.

The last paragraph gives an illustration of the unfortunate bastardization of the word, possibly originating from the lack of a clear consensus in terms of a meaning even among reputable English language dictionaries. People have come to appropriate the word without really knowing what it means. There have been various attempts at trying to return to a more consistent understanding of “vegetarian”, by contrasting it with word such as “pescetarian” (instead of “vegetarian who eats fish”) and “flexitarian” (instead of “vegetarian who eats meat sometimes”). I’ve even heard of “pollotarian” (instead of “vegetarian who eats poultry”). However, I’m not sure how widespread these neologisms are and whether or not they are even understood among those who do use them.

And don’t even get me started on “vegan”. Most people do not know what that word means, let alone what an “animal product” is.

So, I have come to the conclusion that “vegetarian” means nothing. Or at least it means something different to each person to the extent that the word has become meaningless for all intents and purposes. This isn’t a nihilistic conclusion, but rather an acceptance of where we’re at socially and so I need to be prepared for and accepting of people’s shortcomings. For example, my partner and I love this small restaurant in Ottawa. It is not “vegetarian” by any stretch of the imagination. However it does have a “vegetarian” section to its menu. We know the owner quite well as we frequent the restaurant at least once every 1-2 weeks. We also always get the same “vegetarian” soup. Yesterday we went to get our “usual”. He proudly came up to us and asked us if we noticed a difference in the soup. We did not. He told us that they had been experimenting with the broth and that they have decided from now on to make the broth purely vegetable-based and wondered if we preferred it. I politely inquired as to what the base of the broth had been previously (in all the countless times we had consumed the soup at his restaurant). He told us it had been a chicken broth. Without faltering, I told him that the new broth was delicious and it was a good decision to change to the vegetable broth. My partner asked if I were ok. I was. Years ago I may have been outraged, but now, I feel like this is just par for the course, and I accepted this new information about my beloved soup. Nowadays, I almost expect to be deceived or misled to eat non-vegetarian meals at non-vegetarian restaurants serving allegedly vegetarian meals, given the current ignorance of most people (especially restauranteurs) regarding what is truly considered to be “vegetarian”. And given the above confusion on the word, I would say that it isn’t really their fault, and there is no vindictiveness or intent to mislead on their part.

The offending restaurant owner above had no idea that we would be absolutely horrified to hear that the broth had been chicken-based before the big change, as he smiled and presented us with the updated dish. And I am not going to fault him for that now. I more fault myself for not being more on my guard. We “true vegetarians” just need to be more careful. To be sure we are not consuming animal, we should restrict our dining out to vegetarian restaurants or to restaurants that we know use the right ingredients or have a definition of “vegetarian” that is in line with our own. My one solace is in the fact that, for whatever reason unknown to me, this particular restaurant decided to make their “vegetarian” soup actually vegetarian (as I would have it defined). At least that is a step in the right direction.

Eat like you give a damn: Lunchtime experiences 2

Lately, the work environment has shown itself to be quite vegan-hostile. There have been more comments misinterpreting, misrepresenting and ridiculing veganism that I have found myself needing to be more silent than ever, lest my already strenuous good relationship with my colleagues and supervisors crumbles. People assume en masse that vegans could not possibly eat a healthy meal or could not possibly ever be fully satisfied after a meal. People also think that vegans are misguided and extremist in their approach to human health, animal rights and/or the environment. It comes across clearly in many comments that non-vegetarians would consider to be harmless, but to a vegetarian, are quite offensive and hurtful. Comments like:

“How could you not eat meat?

“Who would ever eat a vegetarian pizza?”

Even more so, I am subjected every day (without fail) to conversations about meat. I actually believe that my presence in the lunchroom, as a vegan, inspires conversations about meat and some of them relish in their participation while I am in the room in a passively aggressive way of showing to me that they are triumphant, because the majority rules. That is when I usually stay silent and hope that no one notices that I am not participating equally in the topic.

I know the general tone of this post differs greatly from my positive attitude expressed in my previous post, but I feel that since the latter, my relationships with my colleagues have evolved. We have become more comfortable around each other. We have become closer in some ways due to our shared experiences at the job being greater. And so, why wouldn’t someone try to defend their roast beef sandwich, niceties aside? I do not regret being open about my veganism or even defending my lifestyle when necessary, but I’m finding it harder and harder to want to eat lunch with others, despite the social suicide that often is a consequence of eschewing the lunchroom in the early days of a new job. It’s a constant battle between me wanting to befriend others to make the working environment more pleasant and not wanting to because I know that instinctively, we can’t ever really be close friends. Where we draw the line in questioning our morality versus our everyday choices is much too disparate for any sort of long-lasting social bond.

It’s the weekend and I put on my vegan t-shirt, the one with the slogan, “Eat like you give a damn.”  It was a subconscious fashion choice this morning, but perhaps it is symbolic of a need for a warm hug from an imaginary world that understands.

My new vegan lunchtime experiences

I recently started a new job and with it comes new colleagues, new experiences and new confrontations. I was bracing for the worst of it, but I actually have been pleasantly surprised by the response to my being vegan.

Initially, I was prepared for the potentially negative impact my “coming out” given my past experiences. It didn’t entirely faze me that I received the following responses to my reporting I was vegan (among the usual “shit people say to vegans” — ad nauseam [1] [2] [3]):

– I love steak.

– I would be hungry like all the time.

– It must be so hard to find stuff to eat!

– My sister was vegan once, but she realized she loved cheese too much, so now she is just normal vegetarian.

But among these standard, run-of-the-mill responses, I also was surprised to hear the following:

– I wish I could be vegan.

– I really admire you for being vegan.

– Arguably, being vegan is the best way to protect the environment and fight food shortages around the world.

What?? How is it that I witnessed general respect and understanding for my choice to be vegan? In fact, I noted not only a general acceptance of my veganism, but in certain instances, reverence for my decision to be vegan. It made me not want to hide away at lunchtime, a time usually spent comparing and inspecting food. I developed a mutual respect for some of my colleagues based on their opinions of me, notwithstanding their choice to continue eating meat.

As is in my nature, I immediately developed a theory as to why I received such surprising, positive reactions. I posited that given the fact that the competition for these few permanent jobs was extremely tough (there were around 1,800 applicants) and that the competition process was very much skill based (highlighting analytical skills in particular), the result was a fine group of young professionals who were–for the most part–informed, highly educated, rational human beings with a thirst for knowledge. Therefore, their general respect for vegetarianism stems from their background, education and general intellect, which helps them to understand and weigh morality and ethics as one would in a court of law. While it always still shocks me that one can be cognizant of certain apparent hypocrisies, yet still not change one’s behaviour to eliminate them, I felt much more comfortable with and accepting of my current colleagues than with others in the past.

These combined experiences have shone a bright light on my new position. In a way, it has given it an advantage in terms of my initial feelings towards it. Of course, there are many other more relevant factors considered in developing first impressions of a job, but evidently, my relationship with my colleagues and mutual respect come a long way to adding to the benefits and overall good feelings associated with any job. I am relieved to know that I may have more positive experiences to come in the lunch room and that ignorance is not pervasive in all corners of society.

Do it anyway.

I anticipate weekends like I used to anticipate my birthday as a kid. But now, instead of having to wait 364 days for my birthday to come around, I only have to wait 5 days for the thrill of the weekend. Weekends, in their more repetitive nature, tend to disappoint. This weekend was especially unsatisfying. I know it’s just the end of Saturday, so you wonder how I can already make a conclusion on a weekend halfway through, but from experience I know, Sunday very rarely makes a dull weekend exciting. Sunday is like the buzz killer of the weekend high. Indeed, I would go so far as say that I prefer Monday.

I did absolutely nothing today. I always get very self-reproachful when I spend a day completely idle, even if I kind of know that it’s often a therapeutic necessity to vegetate and eschew socializing or the bustling world that awaits you on the other side of your front door. Yet, I still feel miserable if I haven’t accomplished at least one thing. Like a blog post.

I was re-reading my previous post about “just doing it” and I realize how relevant this is to doing things that you truly care about, that you feel is so important that it hurts. Even if it seems like no one else cares or if all your efforts are in vain. It’s the whole “Mother Teresa” philosophy. My mom used to have this message, attributed to Mother Teresa, posted up in her office at work:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

It may seem cliched, but I still liked reading it and thought that it could be applied to many of the important things we do and feel like there is no point to it. There is always a point, even if it is extremely indirect or so obscure that we cannot possibly figure out what it is. I still think there has to be a point, because if there wasn’t a point, then why the bloody hell are we even existing in the first place?

Perhaps the world won’t all go vegan in my lifetime. Perhaps rights for animals is a long way away or won’t be possible on the global scale in the next few hundred years. But that’s not my goal anyway. It can’t be, or I’d be a complete failure. My goal is to be true to myself, to ensure that I am acting according to my informed ethics and personal morality, and hope that I can have a positive influence on those around me so that they too may become more informed, more compassionate people who choose to be more aligned with their morals in their daily lives. But I’ll do it anyway, even if that doesn’t happen. I’m still blogging, aren’t I?

Just Do It.

The reason why the famous Nike slogan is so popular, to my mind, is because it responds to our inner feelings of being totally capable and refuses to recognize our apathy or fear. Everyone is so risk averse that making decisions–no matter how big or small–becomes almost impossible and we generally choose the easy way out to avoid any conflict with our current routine lives. Either that, or we hope that someone else who is more knowledgeable with “these kinds of things” is able to confidently make a decision for us. That is why we are drawn to bold statements like “just do it”. It gives us no other choice, really.

And so, I recently had a very minor “just do it” moment. Thinking about whether or not I could write–as in, write fiction–I realized that my lack of writing had nothing to do with my inability to write and all to do with my lack of confidence in my ability to write, which inevitably turns into lack of action and apathy. (This may also be a tiny reason for why I haven’t written a blog post in a while.) Writing also conflicts with my daily routine, as would looking for jobs, curling, taking piano lessons, taking Spanish classes, going back to school or taking courses towards something I want to do/accomplish/live for (some of which I already do, most of which I wish I were already doing). So when it came to writing, I decided to just do it. Why not? Worst case scenario, I fail or I give up because it’s not one of my passions after all. I have to stop living my life thinking about the “what ifs”. People on a whole need to stop lamenting about their lost contingent futures, and start focusing on how they can actually attain them. It’s usually never too late to do most things. Of course, it’s probably too late for most things to do it in the way you had planned, but that is no reason to give up now. We are all capable of a lot more than we give ourselves credit for and our subconscious minds know this much better than we do.

For me, a great hurdle to get over when undertaking a new project, job or activity that requires new skills and unexplored aptitudes is my obsession with perfection (wholly unattainable, of course). I always feel that if I am not excellent (read: the best, perfect) at doing something, then I am a failure. As you can imagine, by that philosophy, I have failed at everything I have ever tried to accomplish. It’s not too good on the psyche. But the first step is recognition of the problem which precedes any following steps of dealing with it. I feel I am dealing with it in small increments. For example, I have taken up curling, a sport among many at which I currently am quite below par. This is very difficult for me to deal with and the devil in my mind encourages me daily to quit, but I won’t, because that would be an even greater failure and I would be doing nothing to combat my fear of imperfection. Similarly, I have started to write. Literally, just started. I write snippets of thought since I think my mind works best this way. I’m not sure if they are any good for the public eye (or even for any other eye but my own), but at this point it doesn’t matter. I’m not writing a book; I’m just whetting the stone, giving myself a taste of what it feels like to write for writing’s sake.

I know it is not a big step. It’s not like I quit my job and went on a quest to find what it is I am truly passionate about in order to pursue that in my daily life and not be stuck in a job that I really don’t care about. But it’s a step nonetheless, and no one can take that away from me. And you can do little steps, too. Just because it may not be a huge deal and just because there is perhaps a likelihood that you may fail or not enjoy your new activity or life exploration, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Don’t wait until you’re no longer healthy. Don’t wait until you’re retired or until the kids grow up or until you get married, move, divorce, have a nervous breakdown or contemplate your wasted life on your deathbed. Just do it. Honestly, you’ll feel a lot better. If not for you, do it for your future self.

Date & Rice Pilaf

I must share this recipe that I stumbled upon today. I was craving dates and rice and thought that they would marry quite lovely in a dish. We had some leftover squash that could go well as a side dish and we were getting hungry for lunch. I can’t believe how well the recipe turned out, even with all my modifications. This is definitely going to become a repeat favourite!

Date & Rice Pilaf (inspired by this recipe)

Ingredients

• 1 sliced onion
• 1.5  cups brown rice
• 2 tbsp vegan butter or olive oil
• 1 vegetable or vegan chicken bouillon cube
• 1/4 cup slivered almonds
• 1/4 cup dates, soaked in water, pitted and chopped
• 1 tsp of the water used to soak dates
• 2 tbsp nut/soy milk (unsweetened)
• 1/2 tsp cardamom powder
• 1 tbsp or more chopped cilantro leaves for the garnish

Method

1. Cook the rice as usual, with the bouillon cube.
2. Heat vegan butter or oil in pan over medium. Add almonds and onions. Fry until almonds turn golden brown.
3. Add the dates, cooked rice, date water, milk and cardamom powder.
4. Mix and cook for 4-5 minutes. (Be careful not to burn rice!)
5. Serve garnished with chopped cilantro.
6. Salt & pepper to taste.

Here’s a picture to prove it.

Inspiration-less

I haven’t written a blog entry in what seems like ages. I think my day job has sucked all inspiration out of me to the extent that I feel no motivation to share my insights online. The unfortunate result is my shirking my blog writing responsibilities. I write this entry as an attempt to break free from the routine of the work day and the effects it has on my psyche. A continued effort would reflect a considerable level of success in that endeavour. Time will tell.

It is most appropriate that I am writing this blog entry while at work. I never thought I would use “work time” for my personal activities, as it just seemed too unethical. But when you are driven to it by your employer based on poor management or lack of work, you must either take advantage of the time to complete other non-work-related tasks or forever wallow in the empty misery that is an office job without work or purpose. Mid-level government jobs not only encourage the use of idle work time for personal gain, they essentially require it. While my guilt levels are decreasing the longer I “play” at work, my restlessness increases and I start to sink into dangerous thoughts, with a painful common thread called “purpose”.

But let’s not go there. This post will hopefully be a start toward considering choices I have, can or will make that help me get out of this rut. I have already been proactive in my life by finding new ways in which I can interact with others and take on social activities that can improve my self and my attitude towards my life. For example, I recently joined a curling league in an effort to rediscover competitive sports and connect better with my community (i.e., meet some new friends). I haven’t played organized sports since I was a child, and each time my parents signed me up for one, I would quit shortly thereafter. I hated them. I’m not the competitive type, nor am I exactly a “natural” at sports. That is to say, I was usually the last one chosen for a team during gym class, and quite frankly, I wished I was never chosen at all. Most sports I find either boring or futile and I don’t understand (nor do I appreciate) the intensity and involvement of the fans. Joining curling was a difficult decision as I knew it was going right up against who I am fundamentally and it confronted some of my deep set fears. I knew it was going to be a great challenge. In truth, I had no choice but to sign up, as I knew that I was embarking on an adventure in which the personal and psychological advantages would warrant the potential awkwardness of joining a new social group alone, the humiliation of falling on my ass numerous times on the ice, and the unwelcome frustration I often feel when playing competitive sports.

I’m not good at curling. At least, not yet. The first clinic and practice were successful, but there was a lot of falling on the ice and almost entirely missed shots. It’s a recreational league, so I think I’m covered. As long as I’m not the worst curler on the ice, I think I will be ok. Well, I probably will be ok even if I am the worst.

This is my first effort then at trying to see if life with a boring office job can be sustainable in my life. Perhaps I can fill the rest of my waking hours with activities that will distract from the fact that I work a job with little to no impact on the world (at least in the day-to-day) or at least will complement the time in such a way that it doesn’t bother me as much. If I fail, I’ll have to reevaluate my life choices (or life direction) and decide whether it makes sense continuing down this path if it is incompatible with who I am.

However, I can’t help but feel that this blog post has been extremely self-centred and self-serving. I need to find purpose in my life that reflects my values and makes a difference, however small, to what matters to me most. But like I said, let’s not go there.

Yet.